Voldemort vs Daleks
by TKDgirl101
Summary: This is just a short drabble i had and decided that I wanted to share. Expect randomness and complete senselessness. Reviews are welcome, this is my first fic so please don't kill me. :
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor who or Harry Potter, however much I wish I did**

**AN: This is just a random Facebook chat I had with my friend while she wasn't responding, please forgive misspellings and grammar issues. Contains references to both 9****th**** and 11****th**** doctor.**

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You know, I think the Dalkeks could beat Voldemort

All they would have to do was shoot him with their laser/plunger thingy

And I'd like to see a killing cure get past one of their shields...

Actually, that would be quite interesting...

Hmmm...

But Voldemort could defiantly beat the Cybermen

And the Slitheene, even if he couldn't pronounce their home planet

I would tell you, but I just can't, I would right it, but that is near impossible. It starts with an r...

Voldemort vs. the doctor...

That would be good

And funny

Wait...

JACK VS VOLDEMORT!

Now that would be awesome

Especially if the doctor replaced Jack's sonic pistol with a banana again

Jack would still win, even if he just had a banana

Bananas are high in potassium

I think Voldemort would beat Rose though

Poor Rose

And Amy too...

But Rose and Amy together...

Voldemort wouldn't stand a chance...

And if River was there... Hahaha I almost would pity Voldemort... almost

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**Well, what did you think? Reviews are appreciated. If you review I will give you a screwdriver (sonic not included).**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I want to thank everyone who reviewed and favorited. I have decided to explain my assumptions, please enjoy. **

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Were Voldemort ever to come across a Dalek he would die for various reasons.

First , the best weapon he has is a wand. Don't get me wrong the killing curse is very powerful, but even if it got past the Daleks force field thingy, there is always the fact that they are inside a matal shell.

Even if the Dalek opened himself up and revealed hes fleshy mass, Voldemort would just scream and run away.

In fact, that is probably the smartest thing Voldemort could do if he ever faced a Dalek, run away as fast as his soulless feet could carry him.

All the Daleks would have to do to kill Voldemort is simply yell, "EXTERMINATE!" and electrocute him.

Score: Daleks- 1, Voldemort- 0.

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**If you review I might include the sonic this time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry I have taken a while to update, life has been catching up to me lately but at long last here I am. Special thanks to my reviewers, here is your very own imaginary sonic screwdriver.**

**Disclaimer: As awesome as it would be I do not own either Doctor Who nor Harry Potter **

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Voldemort vs. Cybermen

Were the Cybermen and Voldemort to cross paths Voldemort would, for once, come out the winner.

This is because the Cybermen would want to upgrade Voldemort, who would declare he was already superior.

The Cybermen would then run a scan of Voldemort, and maybe they either discovered traces of magic or found that his soul was, well , fragmented but they decided that there was something upgraded in Voldemort that they didn't know and therefore

would want to take him in for is the Cybermen's mistake, were they to kill Voldemort then and there we would all be happier,

but as it turns out Voldemort doesn't want to be taken for examination so he fires a curse at the Cybermen, breaking their emotional inhibitor.

The Cybermen then realize that they are in fact Cyber, and die. The noise of their death alerts the newly arriving Daleks, spelling out Voldemort's ultimate doom.

Unless, the Doctor gets there first.

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**Please review, it makes me smile.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who or Harry Potter**

**AN: I can finally say it, raxicoricofallaparorus. I am proud of myself now :) Thank you all for reading and please enjoy.**

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Voldemort vs. Slitheen

First, Raxacoricofallapatorus. The Slitheen are a criminal family from the planet Raxacoricofallapatorus.

This being said I doubt that Voldemort would have that much trouble killing them.

Were the Slitheen wearing human-suits, Voldemort would probably kill them thinking that they were fat obnoxious muggles in his way.

Were they naked, assuming Voldemort did not run away screaming or gagging, he would curse them out of fright. This is all assuming that the Slitheen is a male.

If it were a female Slitheen, she could probably kill Voldemort with either her dart or, if necessary, her poison breath.

This all contributes to the fact that Voldemort fails, and girls are much more adept than boys.

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**I hoped you like it! Please review, and once I figure out how to grow a TARDIS I'll take you for a ride.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I am not fortunate to own either Doctor Who or Harry Potter.**

**AN: I know its been a while in updating, I've had this written for a while but hadn't gotten around to posting it. Also there are nin more days until the new season of Doctor Who, so today seemed like a good day for the ninth Doctor to kick Voldemort's but. Please enjoy. :-)**

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Voldemort vs. 9th Doctor

Were the ninth incarnation of the Doctor to meet the Herald of stupid Apes, more commonly known as Voldemort, It would be in Voldemort's best interest to turn around and run the other direction as quickly as possible. However, being Voldemort, he will fail to recognize the Doctor as someone who he should be afraid of and demand total compliance. I imagine their conversation to go something like this:

D: And who are you then?

V: I am the Dark lord Voldemort.

D: Voldemort? That's a mouthful, almost as hard to say as Raxacoricofallapatorus (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist). Now that's…

V: Filthy muggle die! ADAVA KADAVA!

At this point both the Doctor and Voldemort discovered that wizarding spells have little to effect on Time-lords. Here is another point where Voldemort should have ran, but instead he just stood there dumbfounded that the Doctor was still standing there.

D: Now that was not nice! You stupid ape, that could have killed someone! Why would you do something like this, wait (insert burp here) Ahh that's better. Now, what to do about you? I can't just leave you around and about trying to kill random people with bursts of green light.

V (still standing there with his mouth hanging open): Who are you?

D: I'm the Doctor, and you Voldemort have just made me very mad.

At this point Voldemort did run, dropping his wand in the process. The Doctor took it up and snapped it. So Voldemort did not die this time, but instead ran away screaming. I don't think I mind.

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**Please review! (I actually found a place where you can buy a sonic screwdriver... :) )**


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